Food Neutral Home
how to and why we should
BLOG POST WRITTEN BY: LINDSAY CAMP, LMFT + OWNER OF AUSTIN TEEN THERAPY
Why?
Research shows that Eating Disorder (and disordered eating) development includes a variety of factors: genetic predisposition, socio-cultural factors, psychological factors, and family + environment. Folx of marginalized populations and with co-occurring mental health struggles are often at a higher risk of developing disordered eating. Here is a (scary) list of statistics.
It is reported that at least one third of dieters go on to develop an eating disorder.
The wellness industry is a 70+ billion dollar industry. It creates repeat customers by using fear tactics, impossible and harmful beauty standards (that are ever changing), and by corrupting the very definition of health.
*In this blog, when I refer to a goal of health or healthy I am referring to an idea of an inclusive approach to wellness: one where all foods fit, movement is joyful, and health is not a moral imperative and is subjective to each persons given biology + environment. When I refer to “health” or “healthy” I am referring to the white-washed, fear based, and impossible standards set by strangers for profit and oppression.
All this info- yikes! and yay! there is something we can do! Keep reading…
Our relationship with food is largely framed by how food in our homes is: talked about, prepared, withheld, shared, encouraged, available, etc. These experiences not only shape how we feel and think about food, but it also extends into our ideas about desire, access, pleasure, agency, etc.
Creating a food-neutral home does not ignore the pleasure, community, ritual, celebration of food; rather, by eliminating food rules it makes room for pleasure and access!
How?
1. ELIMINATE FOOD RULES
How many of us grew up hearing things like: “no dessert unless you eat all your dinner!” “clean your plate, there are starving children somewhere!” and “you have to eat two more bites to be done” ?? These arbitrary rules often get passed down through generations without much thought given to their impact.
We were born intuitive eaters. Food rules imposed on us unintentionally broke our innate trust with our bodies. Rethink the food rules in your house and create guidelines that are more in alignment with the big picture goal: a healthy relationship with food without shame!
2. MAKE FOOD LANGUAGE NEUTRAL
Labeling certain foods as “healthy” inevitably puts other foods into the category of “unhealthy” even if the word itself is never said. When we label foods we are also labeling choices AND more importantly, the people making those choices.
In sex education, we encourage parents to teach and use anatomically correct words when discussing body parts with their children. This eliminates confusion, shame, and unnecessary associations. Same can be done with food! Instead of “junk food” why not try “salty snack” or “sweet snack”? Instead of “healthy food” why not just call food what it is? Veggies, pasta, fruit, cheese, etc.
There is an amazing method called The Mr Roe Method where you identify temperature, texture, taste of foods to explore desire. Do you want something warm or cold? Something crunchy, crispy, chewy, soft, or slurpy? Do you want something spicy, sweet, savory, or salty? What a fun way to build body trust!
Similarly, I encourage you to eliminate comments on quantity of food being eaten by your children- jokes included.
3. QUIT USING FOOD AS PUNISHMENT OR REWARDS
What message is really being sent when you send a child to bed without dinner? Probably a far more damaging one than you might realize. Using food as a measure to control behavior is laying a neurological framework for this behavior later in life- aka an eating disorder.
Food does not need to be earned. It is a resource that should be available to all. Check out this article for more!
4. HIRE A THERAPIST + REGISTERED DIETICIAN (both trained in disordered eating)
Yes! Outsource some extra support!
Sadly, many therapists and Registered Dieticians operate from a fat-phobic framework. If you are hiring some extra support, help make sure you do some research! Look for words like “Intuitive Eating” and “HAES aligned” and avoid words like “weight management,” “weight-loss,” etc. RD’s and therapists who are not consciously working to unlearn fat-phobic oppression often do more harm than good and can exacerbate disordered eating behaviors.
5. ALL FOODS FIT
Make room for all foods! This model again reinforces that there are no “good” or “bad” foods- just food! Many are not aware there is a category of eating disorders called- orthorexia, very simply: a hyper-focus on only consuming “healthy” foods. By making room for all foods, you are reducing likelihood of restriction.
6. HAVE A WIDE VARIETY OF FOODS AVAILABLE
There are many factors at play when discussing food in homes: economic, cultural, food desserts and other access issues, etc. When possible, make a variety of foods available so that members of the family can have choice and agency!
7. REMEMBER THAT NUTRITION DOES NOT HAPPEN IN 24 HOUR CYCLES
Nutrition is a flexible, rolling, gentle process. Any nutrients we do not get on Monday, we can find later in our week- no biggie. Thinking in this way in relation to nutrition allows us some flexibility and space when approaching food rather than a stressful, rigid manner!
8. TAKE AN ADDITIVE APPROACH
If you want your kid/teen to eat more veggies- simply add them in! Rather than taking stuff out of their diet- by threat or practice. Same with joyful movement and other health promoting behaviors! Add stuff in rather than taking stuff out (aka restriction).
9. HEALTH AT EVERY SIZE + INTUITIVE EATING
Like previously stated, we were born intuitive eaters. We made faces when we did not like mashed peas and clapped our hands when we liked applesauce. We cried when we were hungry and felt soothed as our bellies filled. Diet-culture has stripped us of our deep sense of knowing ourselves and our relationship to our hunger, desire, and our bodies. When we honor our hunger cues and cravings we are returning back home to ourselves and our innate wisdom. Intuitive Eating is one way of facilitating this process. They even have a teen workbook!
One of diet-cultures biggest lies is that your health is determined by your body shape and size. Not only is health not a moral imperative, this claim is not true. Health At Every Size is a modern, inclusive approach to health- yes please!
some favorite resources on the topic of food + bodies:
Podcast: Food Psych
Book: The Body is not an apology
educator + activist: Virgie Tovar
Video: Poodle Science
book: Fearing the black body: racial origins of fat phobia
book: Hunger: a memoir of (my) body
…more book suggestions available here!